Third Time's A Charm...

The third move within Florida since moving to Florida in June 2008.
If I never move again, I would be 100% fine with it.
Moving is incredibly stressful & painful - especially when you're moving from a 3rd floor apartment home to a 2nd floor apartment. Haha!
First off, Stray Cat had way more fun than I did with the move...

After everything was out of the Lakeland apartment, I took a day off to clean it like a crazy person & have the carpets professionally cleaned. It was a grueling 8 hours, but hopefully, time well spent to get back the security deposit in full.
So... I went from this awesome vaulted ceiling'd kitchen that I truly appreciated to... This tiny older styled kitchen (as in countertops & appliances aren't new or anything fancy & the floor is not tile, but linoleum):

From this 30X22 dining/living room space:

To this:

From a 13X11 master bedroom with lotsa light:

To this miniature version of a master bedroom with a mini window to boot :) :

But the second bedroom, which will be used as both a guest room & home office (upon the purchase of a much needed computer desk) has a bigger window:And, although, the new apartment's balcony isn't as big or open as the old one, Stray Cat adores it just the same, & if he's happy here, I know I will be:
This was a very smart move. It's closer to work. It's a lot less money per month. The savings will allow me to get a new car soon, as well as fulfill the long-list of household necessities like a microwave, a bed, a new cell phone, and... and... the list keeps growing & growing.
A new year is fast approaching, a new outlook has been required of me, & with that, I am forever grateful for what I do have & what I have learned along the way.

**In way more exciting news, my dear friend, Tanya, got married on November 7th, I was honored to be included in the celebration. I have created a web-album of the beautiful day. The weather was perfect for an outdoor wedding - breezy, sunny, & cool. A mere 75-78 degrees in Orlando, Florida. Simply perfect. Congratulations Tanya & Carl!

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be - The Beatles.

"Freedom comes when you learn to let go"

Music is a huge part of my life.
In my head, there is a soundtrack to my life, which includes artists like Tori Amos, Pearl Jam, U2, Ani DiFranco, John Lennon, Alanis, and many others.
You know how songs can just SPEAK to you? Or, it’s as if the writer has stolen a story out of your life & has created a song that you alone could have written so easily? Well, over the past few days I have been unable to stop listening to two of Madonna’s songs, “Frozen” & “The Power of Goodbye”. They are so poignant & they completely have a new meaning for me than when they were originally released.
You see, I have been carrying around something for many years. It’s something called hope & I just realized there is none of it left. I have come to the conclusion that hope is merely just delayed disappointment. Problem is, I have been hopeless all of my life. Hopelessly romantic. Hopelessly wishing all of the time. Hope hope hope.

Yesterday, my colleague, Sheri, who is currently on maternity-leave wrote the greatest thing on my FB page, “Keep smiling! I miss seeing your smiling face! You make everyone around you happy Assunta!”.

I walk around all day with a huge smile on my face, appearing to not have a care in the world. For a long time, I have proudly worn the nic-name, “Susie Sunshine” and have made it fit me. Despite any adversity I may face, I constantly look for the good, hope for the best, pray for guidance & I smile. Despite what may be going on in my world, or in my head, I am always smiling. Always finding a reason to laugh. Always wanting to laugh.
So, yes, I travelled the road less travelled & gained some valuable lessons. Since moving to Florida, I have lost 40 pounds, and cut off a foot and a half of my hair. Lost some other stuff too, but rather talk about what I’ve gained. No need to focus on what’s lost.

New haircut, bangs could be a little straighter, darn Florida humidity. My natural hair colour is practically back!

Since my preteen years, I have had the propensity to over analyze everything causing chaos. Causing undue stress, undue worry, countless tears. My brain never used to shut off, think think think think. It’s my most annoying feature and something I’ve battled with.

Since 2001, I’ve been practicing yoga & meditation. This has helped greatly with my mind antics. But I am entering a new stage of my life.
And it will be simple.
No analyzing.
No over thinking.
Just be.
It just is.
It is what it is.
I have declared no more delusions of self.

And about what it is I have been hoping for & longing for for so many years, I have learned that the other side hasn’t been doing the same – for them, these years brought reflection, healing, & getting over it all, once & for all.
So I shall do the same.

Frozen - Madonna
You only see what your eyes want to see
How can life be what you want it to be
You're frozen
When your heart's not open
You're so consumed with how much you get
You waste your time with hate and regret
You're broken
When your heart's not open
If I could melt your heart
We'd never be apart
Give yourself to me
You hold the key
Now there's no point in placing the blame
And you should know I suffer the same
If I lose you
My heart will be broken
Love is a bird, she needs to fly
Let all the hurt inside of you die
You're frozen
When your heart's not open
If I could melt your heart

The Power of Goodbye - Madonna
Your heart is not open, so I must go
The spell has been broken...I loved you so
Freedom comes when you learn to let go
Creation comes when you learn to say no
You were my lesson I had to learn
I was your fortress you had to burn
Pain is a warning that something's wrong
I pray to God that it won't be long
Do ya wanna go higher?
There's nothing left to try
There's no place left to hide
There's no greater power than the power of good-bye
Your heart is not open, so I must go
The spell has been broken...I loved you so
You were my lesson I had to learn
I was your fortress
There's nothing left to lose
There's no more heart to bruise
There's no greater power than the power of good-bye
Learn to say good-bye
I yearn to say good-bye
There's nothing left to try
There's no more places to hide
There's no greater power than the power of good-bye
There's nothing left to lose
There's no more heart to bruise
There's no greater power than the power of good-bye

Morris County New Jersey Girl Exiled To Polk County Florida

Making decisions as a responsible adult can be very tedious.

I never had financial concerns until I owned my own business & the economy crashed. Seemingly, I have been confronted with my present reality multiple times upon living in Florida for 16 months.

It is pretty clear I need to purchase a new vehicle. Not the vehicle I want, like a Pontiac Solstice or a Jeep Wrangler. Nope, I must be a responsible adult & buy the vehicle I need – like someone else’s beater car or an economy car like a Hyundai or Kia. Need & want have never been two polar opposite words in my lifetime.

With age comes wisdom, or so the cliché claims.

Yet, I can’t help but feel like I am living my live backwards - - - having been able to drive a new car at 17 & being able to buy a new car 7 years later when that first car was totaled in an accident, to fast forward to 12 years later & I can’t just go into any car dealer & buy whatever the heck I want.

Reality hits like a ton of bricks & I realize the errors of my ways.

Economy schonomy. Could’ve would’ve should’ve & here I am today.

Thinking about buying a Hyundai or a Kia. In addition to this predicament of my baby, Gabby the Cabby, falling apart literally at the seams… my apartment lease ends on November 11th.

I can’t write enough good things about where I live. I love it here. It is luxury living with lots of amenities. A beautiful layout – huge, clean, safe, so quiet with a great view from the balcony… Stray Cat & I are very happy in our place of rest & relaxation.

It is located 40 minutes from work – being from the Northeast, it is not out of the ordinary to have a 40 minute commute. I do not mind the drive at all – my drive in pumps me up & prepares me for the day ahead –my drive home allows me time to decompress from the day’s events…. Thing is, it is $50/month in tolls & a ton of gas (currently, it’s $2.50/gallon). Plus, the rent. It is too much for just me & Stray (considering he doesn’t bring home any bacon!).

Again, this situation lends itself to me feeling I am living life in reverse. Prior to moving to Florida, I had not lived in an apartment since 1999 (that was the scary store front dump in Pompton Lakes my father flipped out about); from there, I moved into an amazing old Vic in Stirling, NJ, right on the main street which I adored. From Stirling, I moved to Searsport, Maine, into a stupid-big old farmhouse. Well, wait a second, after Maine I lived in the husband’s friend’s guest room - - - so maybe... maybe I am not going in reverse.

I went off on a diatribe about this whole debacle over the phone to a friend in New Jersey, who made me feel so much better by declaring a “DO OVER” for my life, rather than seeing it as “going backwards”. Yet, I can’t help but be overwhelmed by this mind-numbing decision making – one thing at a time – first, a new less expensive apartment closer to work - - - once that’s decided upon & the move is made, then, second will be the new (to me) vehicle purchase.
There you have it.

That’s my life as it is NOW. I can do anything temporarily. Clearly, I’ve survived far worse.

One of the many buildings in the complex: My kitchen:

(Stray is not allowed on the counter - but i had just finished mopping the floors & his food bowls were up on it - so of course, he helped himself!).

My living room:

My dining room:

Hallway leading to the second bed & bath: The second bedroom is currently packing quarters:

One of the reasons I liked this place so much was these really cool "nooks" for stuff in both bedrooms. Oddly enough, as cool as they are, I never used them the way I antcipated for plants or decorating or the like... haha!

Sliders lead to a balcony: This is the view:

Maybe the sun will shine today. The clouds will roll away. Maybe I won't be so afraid. I will understand everything has its plan. Either way. - Wilco

"Chunk it!"

Golf.
I live in Florida.
Golf is a favorite pass time.
Being that my father has been doing work for years for the USGA Museum in New Jersey, I have been exposed to all-things-golf since childhood. Other than miniature golf & occasionally going to the range to shoot a bucket, I've never had the desire to play on a course - although, I've been extremely fortunate to visit some of the most beautiful courses in the Northeast & I have quite the collection of clothing sporting the USGA emblem (thanks Mom & Dad!).
During the past 16 months of living in Florida, I have been asked countless times to come play. Dare I admit that although I absolutely will play any sport, I am not very good at anything other than basketball & tennis - liking to play any sport doesn't actually equate to being good at any of 'em. Plus, I am extremely competitive & I get frustrated easily. Hence why golf was never a first choice sport for me to learn.
My brother-in-law, Mike, really enjoys playing - insists it's addictive & insisted that while living in Florida I should at least try it once. I've been told that if I hate it, I'd never have to go back - - - but that the funny thing about golf is that even if you initially hate it, ya' wanna try again to see if you fall in love with it...

Luckily, I have met through work the most wonderful person, Vickie, who happens to be an avid golfer. She's been playing since she was 5, played in high school & competed in tournaments for years. She, due to the kindness of her heart & not due to insanity, offered a while ago to teach me how to play. My first "lesson" was on Saturday. Our mutual friend, Wendy, who also has never played, joined us for the outing at a local country club.

(Vickie & Wendy)

We practiced at the range first thing in the morning, before getting into our golf carts to complete 9 holes.

Vickie is an amazing instructor, her knowledge & expertise were a huge help to me. First thing I've been doing wrong all these years? I have been holding a golf club my entire life similar to how I hold a baseball bat - oops - sorry, grew up in a huge baseball playing & baseball loving family... haha!

It turned out to be an exceptionally hot September day, but despite the heat, we truly had a marvelous time. I tried very hard to not take it too seriously & the three of us really had a lot of fun playing together.

Vickie generously told us two newbies that we did extremely well for our first time out on a course. We played only 6 holes (due to timing & the heat), I scored a 47, while Vickie scored a 30 & Wendy scored a 40. Of course, I came in last, I was not surprised - haha! :)

My two favorite things about my first golf course experience: driving a golf cart (I had entirely too much fun driving it) & the use of the phrase "chunk it!" (golf lingo describing a poor shot where the player hits the ground behind the ball and moves the earth to a greater extent than the ball itself - um, I proudly am extremely good at this!).

(Vickie)

(That's me in my new favorite ride)

Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle - Author Unknown.

Holy $hit! I'm 36!!

Unfortunately, I must start this post with sad news. I was notified the week of Kismet's death that dear Zoe girl, the German Shepherd I used to live with was diagnosed with cancer. Without going into personal melo-drama on the blog site for the whole wide world to read, it is worth mentioning that she hasn't lived with me for a while. It is with deep sadness to report that she had to be put down on August 23rd. She was a loving & wonderful dog. Incredibly gentle & kind. I am grateful that she was in my life for the short period that she was, she brought great laughs to my heart & soul. Memories that will last the rest of my life. Stray Cat absolutely adored Zoe.
The Friday of my birthday weekend, I went to Maryann's, where she blew out my hair phenomenally, in a way I can never do in the Florida humidity - or maybe it's because my straightener is a piece of crap & I need to invest in a really good expensive one. She took this photo of me there, proof that I always have way too much fun with her... LOL.

The Saturday of my birthday, my cube-mate, Lynda, invited me over for dinner at her house to celebrate. Lynda & Rick are my friends that saved me when my car battery died in the beginning of August. It never matters where you move to, whether you like the area or not, as I am convinced you make your own happiness despite any adversity you face & I believe you will always be blessed with angels. Lynda & Rick are two of mine.

They surprised me by inviting two of my girl friends & their families to join us for dinner. So instead of it just being the 3 of us, Lynda & Rick prepared a huge feast for the 9 of us. It was a beautiful evening of conversation, sangria, delicious food, & of course birthday cake.

This year Disney's theme is Celebrations. Anyone who registers their birthday at Disney's website will get a certificate to get in the park of their choice for free. If you remember, all I wanted for my birthday last year was a day at Epcot Center. You may also recall, that while living in Maine, it was pretty much a pre-requisite for me to be convinced to move to Florida. Haha! Well, I never did get to go last year on my birthday, so this year, I am thrilled to tell you that I did indeed get to go!

I happily spent five hours of the day at Epcot completely alone. I had no idea how I would feel about that - I was unsure if I would be uncomfortable or self-conscious. Gratefully, I was just happy. It was quite liberating to get to the front of ride lines and proudly declare, "ONE" when asked how many in my party. Ya' know the song, "One is the loneliest number"??? I disagree, cuz, sometimes it's just f'n fabulous.
Mid-afternoon, I met up with Dawn & her adorable daughter, Katie. Dawn & I have known one another since childhood & have reconnected due to FaceBook. It was so great to hang out with her & Katie for the remainder of my birthday at Epcot. Her & I haven't seen one another since H.S. graduation day in 1991, so it was so cool to catch up & we all had such a fun time together at Epcot.

We even got to meet Princess Jasmine! Hehee:

And we all ate one of these crack pretzels from Norway - delicious!!!

Two days later, I was on a plane to NJ. A very awesome birthday gift from my parents, very spontaneous.
Since I had not been to my parents shorehouse since the summer of 2004, my parents wanted the whole family to spend the Labor Day weekend there. This trip was the longest amount of time I have spent in NJ since moving in 2005. Typically, I only visit for 2-3 days & I drive my mother crazy by being a "social butterfly" seeing my friends. Bringing me to LBI would eliminate that worry - haha! :)
Of course, the first night in NJ, my SHU-gals came to my parents' house, & we all went out to celebrate. It was the coolest thing in the world to see them - this was the first time in 13 years that all 6 of us were together.
I look horrible in this picture, but they all look friggin' beautiful so I had to share it:

(L-R back row: Stacey, Me, Cheryl, Jeanette; L-R front row: Denise & Corinne)

The following day, my sister Tina Maria & her family could not join my family on LBI, so she & I & her two children, Emma & Tyler, spent the day in Manhattan. It was a fun-filled day trip, where we walked around Times Square, went to Toys R Us, Hershey's, the M&M store, Starbucks, & ate lunch at Junior's. We took the train in & stopped in Summit to visit my Uncle at work. It was a stupendous day - no exaggeration.

The next morning, I was off to Long Beach Island with my parents. It was a glorious weekend down the shore. It was a happy time spent with my parents, my sister, Marcella & her family.

In this post, I have only included a select few of the tons of photos taken during the trip, if you are not on FaceBook & you would like to see my entire photo album please e-mail me & I will send you a link to view the photographs.

It was great to be home, to see the SHU-girls, to spend time with my family. Unfortunately, I was unable to see the rest of you all while I was there. It was a very quick visit & there wasn't a lot of time beforehand to plan anything. The next trip, I will know well ahead of time so that we can plan to see one another.

"I lived a million miles of memories on that road. With every step I take I know that I'm not alone. You take the home from the boy, but not the boy from his home. These are my streets, the only life I've ever known, who says you can't go home" - - - "It doesn't matter where you are, it doesn't matter where you go. If it's a million miles aways or just a mile up the road. Take it in, take it with you when you go, who says you can't go home" - Bon Jovi.

Miscellaneous updates, well overdue...

On June 27th, I had a bunch of my hair cut off & had it bleached blonde. A shade I used to always go to in the summer - but it's been a long 4 years without it & a much needed change.

Come fall, I'll go to a more of a brownish hue...

I dunknow if you can tell by the above photo, but I have finally reached my goal weight. What I always termed as my "fighting weight"; ya' know, the weight I was when I entered SHU in 1991! A weight that I have been on & off, but mostly off, since gaining that dreaded "Freshman 15!". It's a weight that I have never stayed at for longer than a month or two... until now. I was determined that in my 35th year of life, I'd finally quit smoking & once again be my "fighting weight" - a weight I plan to stay at for the rest of my life, give or take 5lbs. :)

Here is a before photo. It's not very pleasant - so use caution...

Yes, I am at a Pizza Hut, of all places - not by choice, it was for a church fundraiser, I swear it! I am very proud to report that I am 40lbs lighter since I moved outta Maine.

On July 2nd, this "karma" balloon was given to me by a colleague. I need all the happy karma available at this juncture in my life. Love it!


On August 7th, which happens to be my SHU-Gal, BFF, Corinne's birthday, the darndest thing happened. Gabby the Cabby did not start in the parking lot. AGAIN. She did not start on August 1st, & luckily, my friend's husband installed a new battery for me, & Gabby started working again great! But, then, less than a week later, I am trying to leave work to start my weekend, & she doesn't wanna budge!
I got to the Auto Body Shop around 5:30 that evening. They assumed it was the alternator, I was adamant that it was not! The mechanic called three car rental places for me - only one had a rental left. He drove me to a the car rental place, and it is much too long & boring of a story to write here.
But know this - the body shop swore my car would be ready by 1pm the following day (which was the day I had scheduled to cremate my dear sweet Kismet). And the car rental place closes at 12 on Saturdays, & they are not open on Sundays.
The only rental they had available for me was, get this, a Dodge Dakota. Me, in a Dodge Dakota. A girl that drives an itty bitty convertible, in a Dodge Dakota.
Well, for over $60 a day, I gladly pull out of the car rental place, in hopes of only needing it for ONE day.
Here the Dakota is in all it's glory:

The damn thing actually drove beautifully, but I am not a girl in a pick-up truck, by any means. I am way too in love with itty bitty Gabby to ever be purchasing one for my daily usage.
The following day, was something I was dreading all week long. To cremate my nonjudgmental companion of nearly 15 years.
The crematory was really fabulous, & the owner handled Kismet & I with such empathy & compassion. I can't even begin to express my gratitude.
While I was at the crematory, the mechanic called me to advise that it was Gabby's ignition switch, that it would cost close to $400 & he assured me she would be done by 1 so that I could return the Dakota by 12 without an issue.
So, my rental was returned by 12, the rental guy drove me to the body shop. And, there I was, at the body shop until nearly 7pm. They could not get Gabby fixed. They kept running into all sorts of technical issues.
Luckily, the mechanic drove me home that evening, & picked me up Monday morning to drive me to work.
But I was car-less for a weekend since there wasn't a car rental place open.
I was furious.
But, happily, I got Gabby back on Monday evening, & she is running like a champ again. Just in time to start driving me to car dealerships, because, Friends, it seems it is time to be buying a new car. She's been good to me for 12 years, I can't ask for anything more from her...

On a sad note, August 8th, my dear Kismet's ashes were presented to me in this way:

The scroll is his death certificate with his actual paw print on it, accompanied by a lock of his hair tied in an adorable little bow. His name is engraved with his dates of life on the plaque on the urn. So, now, not only is he forever in my heart, but wherever I move to next, he will be coming with me.

On August 19th, I got his name & dates of life tattooed on my left side. I chose my side because that's where he always was. The crown represents his nickname of "The King", because he was the king of any house we've ever lived in.
I considered getting his paw print tattooed on my left foot, since during the last 3-4 weeks of his life, he had lost a lot of his sight, & he would step on my left foot daily. This was adorable to me. But it being an exposed tattoo caused me some second thoughts on it - so I am keeping the idea on the "back burner", for now.


Lastly, on August 20th, I am so thrilled to report that Corinne & her family were in Florida!! We all went to Animal Kingdom. It was a phenomenal time, & so good to see them!!! Since I do not (yet) have permission to post photos of all of us, I will leave you with these two.
Here is a statue that was in the park. Maybe I just have a dirty mind or something, but it didn't seem appropriate or child friendly (to me). LOL!

There is always something to learn, every day, & here was something for me. While living in Maine, I would always see signs for "Bat Houses For Sale" & I never researched what it was all about, but was always curious to the "WTF" factor of "why would one need a bat house, exactly?".

Well, give it up to Disney to answer my question!
While in the "bat sanctuary", there was this poster that taught me why people need bat houses. It is a natural way to save farmers' crops, rather than using insecticides, bat houses promote using bats to save crops. Who knew this?? Anyone??

Lifetimes are catching up with me, all these changes taking place, I wish I'd seen the place, but no one's ever taken me. Hearts and thoughts they fade, fade away... - Pearl Jam's "Elderly Woman Behind The Counter In A Small Town" (one of my top 5 favorite PJ songs, but if you had me to list them all, the list would be way too long, because practically every song of theirs is a favorite, btw!).

Kismet 12/31/1994 - 08/02/2009

My dear sweet Kismet’s health began to deteriorate rapidly since the end of June – he could no longer jump onto my bed to sleep, which of course, depressed me to no end. I would carry him on to the bed, and he would stay only for a little while, and fuss to let me get him down or jump down on his own worrying me to tears if he hurt himself. I built a little “staircase” for him to climb – but that was fruitless, because he never even tried to use it. Instead, he claimed the living room floor under or by the coffee table as his new sleeping area.

This is how a beautiful relationship began and sadly ended:

On New Year’s Eve, 1994, dear Kismet came in a box without a top from my college sweetheart. We spent New Year’s Eve canoodling this little itty kitten, which my college sweetheart thoughtfully had named, Kismet.
Kismet is the French word for “fate”; and it was indeed fate that the little kitty was found sitting on top of my boyfriend’s tire when he went to leave to come to my parents’ house in Millington, New Jersey.
Kismet was a stray cat born on Staten Island, New York. I reminded Kismet often of this, so he knew I knew he was a very tough cat from the streets of Staten Island!
A year after his arrival, he moved in with Corinne & I in Madison, New Jersey. Here, he drove our downstairs neighbor nutso by rolling a tiny ball up and down the long hallway throughout the day. It was here that Kismet’s affection for window perches began, as well as, Corinne’s unknown allergy to cats! Kismet moved back in with my parents for about 6 months before I moved to Pompton Lakes, New Jersey.
While living in Pompton Lakes (1997-1999), in a street front apartment, he escaped a few times and trotted down the street thinking he was the King of the Neighborhood. It was at this apartment that his life-long habit of waiting for me to get ready in the morning began. He hated it if I closed the bathroom door and insisted on being right next to me whether in the shower (he'd sit at the edge of the tub!) or at the sink. He had an amazing talent of being able to open any door I closed without locking.

In 2000, he & I moved in to a beautiful old vic on the main street in Stirling, New Jersey, where he once again became an indoor/outdoor cat. Only allowed outside once I got home from work. He loved being outside tormenting birds, and he was also found multiple times walking the sidewalk as if he was a pedestrian. He thought he was a very smart cat.
While living in Stirling, he got into a very bad cat fight with a raccoon – he had multiple stitches and had to wear one of those Elizabethan collars for the remainder of his recovery. From that day forward, he wasn’t very anxious to get outside to play, and became a predominant housecat.
In 2005, he moved with me again, this time to Maine. Where we drove together from New Jersey in a very packed Ford F150, all the while he sat on my lap, with infrequent leg stretches where he’d perch his front legs onto the door so he could look out the driver side window. Adorable!
Upon arriving to our new home, an enormous farm house, he was thrilled to explore! He would run the length of the house and go up and down the steps as if it was some kind of cardio workout. He liked having so much space. His constant habit of sleeping in my bed began to dwindle as he had so many rooms to choose from! He’d start the evening with me, but within a ½ hour or so, he’d be gone to explore or sleep elsewhere. He especially liked being allowed in Abbracci after-hours to explore it and to sneak up to the extremely large attic where there was always stuff to amuse him.
While living in Maine, he started to vomit after eating, each and every time. His once chubby self, started to get frail. The vet gave him 7 months, tops, to live and diagnosed him with hyperthyroidism.
This was in April of 2007.
Right after his diagnosis, Stray Cat was added to the family, and I was overly concerned that Kismet thought he was being replaced already (because at this point I officially turned into the crazy cat lady)!
From Maine, he took the treacherous journey to Florida in June 2008, that you all read about here.
Since he was already ill at this time, I was especially concerned on how he’d handle the long trip. Also, with the addition of a nutty kitty named Stray Cat, there was that alpha male cat fight always ensuing.
Kismet lived in Ocala, Florida for four months, and he had lived for 10 months in Lakeland, Florida. He was incredibly flexible and resilient.
Without going into personal baggage on my blog sight, there was a lot of tension at home that I know Kismet and Stray Cat could feel. I know he knew I needed him just as much, if not more, than he needed me. So, I truly believe that low and behold, he hung on as long as he did for me.
Last week, I thought for sure it would be the end – I even spoke hours on end about it over the phone with my sister, Tina Maria, and my mother.
I kept telling Kismet stories about his life, as if I was a crazy person. I am quite certain he was thinking, “Mom, I didn’t lose my memory!”
This past weekend was the first weekend ever that I was out every night. I was barely home at all.
Saturday, August 1st began my official Birthday Month Celebration, and I started it right by going to the pool for the first time in a long while. After coming back in from the pool, I spent very little time with Kismet, as I had to shower for that evening’s plans.
Saturday night, I had planned to go to a church service in Winter Haven with Lynda & Rick, and when I went to leave, my car wouldn’t start because my battery died. I immediately felt it was a sign that Kismet was going to die too. I do not know why I felt this way, but it was a gut reaction I felt.
I called Lynda, and she quickly came up with a solution. Her husband saved me by installing a new battery for me – yeah, the blessings in my life. They drove that night, in any case, and from the beautiful church service, we spontaneously went to a local bar for a karaoke contest that her 23 year old son was going to be in. I had told the kitties that I’d be home early to hang out – latest 9. Not knowing that my evening would be extended to a local bar, and that I’d arrive home around 11pm.
I had an excellent day & evening, it was a fantastic start to my birthday month. I was exhausted upon arriving home, and Kismet was sleeping near the coffee table. I had pet him for a bit and told him I was too tired to hang out and how I wish he’d stay in bed with me cuz I hated leaving him alone in the living room for what was now turning quickly into a month!
He didn’t seem to have a care in the world, and he was purring beautifully. He has a purr very different from that of my previous cats or of Stray. His purr can become extremely loud – like insanely loud, and it is adorable. I also promised him that I’d clean him the following day.
I have these cat/dog wipes I use to clean him up since he couldn’t clean himself anymore.
The next morning, I woke up early to do laundry, clean, and do yoga. While running around in the house, he was still in the same spot as the last evening, and it was the first day he didn’t holler at me for food. This was a clear sign that things were not going to get any better for him.
I basically forced him to come into the kitchen and try to eat, but he only had a tiny bit, when normally he eats like a house in one sitting. He hid under the baker’s rack, which made me all but crazy and I pleaded with him to come out. Once he did, Stray attacked him feverishly, and I was at my wit’s end scolding Stray Cat.
This was the second day in a row that Stray tormented Kismet and it broke my heart. I scooped up Kismet and held him for a long while, talking with him about what an awesome cat he was for the past nearly 15 years. What a kindred spirit he truly was, and I thanked him for his constant companionship, attention, and love. I told him I was sorry that Stray Cat kept tormenting him, I explained that Stray didn't realize he was sick and all Stray wanted to do was play with him.
Kismet looked at me like I was nuts, like he was saying, “No, Ma, Stray knows I am dying – he’s done playing with me”.
I left both cats, sitting quietly under the kitchen table, to go food shopping. An hour later I returned, and Kismet was laying, sleeping under the coffee table. I was only home for ½ hour when I had to meet my friend, Wendy, for a movie. I kissed them both goodbye and told them I’d be home soon and that we’d hang out more later. I told Kismet I’d clean him and pamper him once I returned. They seemed content with this.
Around 5, I arrived home, and immediately sat on the sofa, leaning over to pet and chat with Kismet who was still laying under the coffee table. Anneliese left me a message while I was out, and I returned her call within minutes of getting home, while petting Kismet. A few minutes passed, and I moved from the living room to the bedroom.
I was on the phone for probably over an hour, when I went into the kitchen to make something to eat. When I walked by Kismet, he was still under the coffee table, his eyes were open, I can’t remember if I patted his head when I walked by (I typically do), but I fear I didn’t because I was just gonna grab something real quick and go sit on the sofa again to be next to him while I ended the phone call.
While at the kitchen counter, speaking with Anneliese, I had this horrible gut instinct to go check on Kismet. I walked back into the living room, and he was not there, I ran into the bedroom, and found he was laying on his side under the bed, with only his bum and tail hanging out for me to see. He was motionless.
“Kismet just took his last breath”, I said to Anneliese in a complete state of shock and disbelief.
I hurriedly hung up with Anneliese, and took Kismet into my arms.
He passed away while I was talking on the phone.
I feel so guilty and sorry that he died while I was on the phone. I feel horrible that I never got to bathe him like I told him I would.
I worry that he thought I didn’t need him anymore or that I didn’t care anymore.
Neither are true.
My heart is truly broken over this.
It seems really stupid to write it. But it’s true.
I have a daily calendar at work with quotes that was given to me in 1992 by my friend, Monny. When I got to work on Monday, I checked Sunday’s quote, and it was, “Never put off until tomorrow the hug you can give today".
How poignant.

I have way too many memories over the 15 year relationship to just mention a few would be ludicrous. But in a vain attempt to shut up at this point, here are “just a few”:

He had an incredible meow, I sometimes swore he was saying, “Ma”. My father would make fun of me for talking to Kismet like a human, but when Kismet would respond to me, my father would laugh and say, “That sucker talks back to you!”. Towards the end of his life, he had an intense appetite. As soon as I arrived home, he would yell/meow at me to feed him. You see, he could only have soft food this past year, and could no longer digest hard food. So the soft food, if left in a bowl for him to graze on would get eaten up by the Stray Cat. Kismet was hysterical to me, if I went in to the kitchen at any time, other than the last week of his life, he would incessantly follow me there – at my feet yelling for food.
If both cats were asleep, and me starting to walk to the kitchen awoke their appetites, Stray Cat would ZOOM by frail little Kismet, nearly knocking him over in the race to the kitchen. Kismet would look at him with this “scared cat” face, with a hint of complete annoyance, as if to say, “You’re gonna get old too, Bucko!” Yet, he’d keep his gait at a slow and easy pace, and I’d always wait for him, to give him a loving pet, and a thoughtful word – never ever feeding Stray Cat first.
Kismet, he always made me laugh and smile.
Some of my favorite memories of Kismet include when my grandmother, Nonna Frances, would hold him and pet him. My grandfather, Nonno Frank, would tell her to stop fussing over the cat because cats cause diseases. I know that my grandparents are taking good care of Kismet in heaven now.
If I was over visiting my parents while Kismet was living with them, Kismet would meow at my father for food and my father would tell him, “See? You know who takes care of you now!!!”
When my sister, Tina Maria, would take Kismet to the vet where she worked and they would all tell us what a handsome and good boy he was. How Tina Maria helped me learn so much about cat-care and how amazing a caregiver she was to him. She was the first person I called after his passing, and she gave me calm directions of how to care for my sweet boy. She also let me wail for a long time as I couldn’t contain myself.
Before my sister, Marcella, & her husband, Mike, cat sat for me, Mike insisted my cat “sucked” because he didn’t like anyone else but me. But then, Kismet stayed with them for a week while I was on vacation, and Mike & Kismet bonded – Mike kept repeating what a cool cat Kismet was. And even started all of us singing, “Kizzy Kizzy Cocoa Puff”. Which helps me smile to this day.
How while living with Corinne, I was still training Kismet and how Corinne would make fun of the way I scolded Kismet by saying, “BOLD” in a stern voice. I think this still makes Corinne crack up.
How sweet Kismet would fall asleep on my chest, and while living in Stirling, if I didn’t wake up to the alarm clock, he would pat my face ever so gently with his paws. This was the cutest thing ever and I always wished I had it recorded. He would always fall asleep on me, mostly on my chest, belly or feet, and if I moved throughout the night, he would follow where I’d go, remaining on me the entire time – he had excellent balance, and was extremely loyal to staying with me throughout the night.
Hilarious to me, not so hilarious to any bed partners.

For all of you who had the pleasure of meeting my wonderful Kismet, thank you for the love you afforded him, even if you (like PJ and others) would insist, “Your cat sucks!” cuz he only “liked” me… haha! He was a tough cat, born with a heart murmur, which caused him to be incredibly “jumpy”, just like me, his mother…
He was the perfect perfect son, friend, and he was an incredibly handsome orange tabby with the most beautiful green eyes.
He was my one and only, Kismet. He will live in my heart forever...

May he rest in peace.

“If love alone could have saved you, you never would have died.”

Almighty God,
I was fortunate to receive the gift of Kismet from You
Now that he has left this life, please help me cope with my loss with strength and courage.
I know that my beloved companion no longer suffers, and will live on in many fond memories.
He has enriched my life, and I pray that I may enrich the lives of others.
Amen.
Basilica and Shrine of Our Lady of Consolation Click here to view web album...